A clear sign of having wisdom is knowing how little control we humans have over most things in our lives. Take death as an example. No one has control of determining how long he or she will live or when he or she will die. As much as the health and beauty industries try to convince us otherwise, there is no miracle cure for prolonging our lives. While those industries would like us to believe we can preserve our youthful appearances and maybe even extend our lives if only we’d buy their products, drugs, or partake in certain practices, nothing we do can cheat death. While Abraham of the Bible purportedly lived to the ripe old age of 175 and the verified oldest person in modern times—Jeanne Calment of France—died at the age of 122 in 1997, most of us will be fortunate to become octogenarians.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. I’m deeply feeling my mortality. Not because I am obsessed with it but rather because so many people I know have been passing on recently, some too young and others too suddenly. In my youth, I never much thought about death because I was too immature to formulate any opinion about it. I was too busy going to school, playing with friends, and having fun. Then as I matured, and older family members and friends of my parents died, death started to become real, and it scared me. Though I didn’t think my life would end anytime soon, I still didn’t want to die. In fact, I remember wanting to live forever. My life was wonderful, and there was still so much I wanted to do. I even wondered if, by the time I reached retirement age, or sooner, someone in the medical field would invent a real anti-ageing potion or device that would afford humans eternal life!
Fountain of Youth
While I unequivocally understand that that is not going to happen, at least not in my lifetime, in the back of my mind, I still hold out hope for that “fountain of youth” elixir. OK, I don’t really want to live forever, but I’d like a few sips of that tonic so that I may have the time and energy to complete my remaining tasks on earth. I’m ready to make a deal with God and the universe to allow me just enough time to tick off some more items on my Bucket List. The years are flying by too quickly and I have too many items remaining.
Life is Short
As I grieve the recent deaths of close friends and acquaintances, I lament their lost opportunities, family members and friends they intended to visit and didn’t; trips they should have taken but couldn’t; resentments they carried with them to death because they couldn’t forgive. Coincidentally, I am reminded of that line I heard my whole life: life is short.
Don’t waste your time being negative, aggravated by the little things, offended by people who slighted you, resentful of how your parents raised you. And the list can go on and on. Live in the moment. Today is a present. Visit your elderly relatives (or find someone in a senior living facility to visit regularly). Take that trip you wanted to take years ago. Wear your fancy clothing and jewelry just because. Use the real silverware you inherited from your parents that is tarnishing in the drawer. Be bold. Be kind to yourself and others. Be grateful.
Even though we cannot control things like our longevity, we can control our actions by doing good deeds for ourselves and others. Value your life. Write a daily gratitude list. Tune out social media and the news. Take a walk on the beach or a hike in the forest. Listen to the birds singing. Feel the majesty of the 100-year-old oak trees and the 5-million-year-old mountain ranges. Nature is one of the best places on earth to experience spirituality. Volunteer at your local children’s hospital. Do something nice for someone without them knowing it. You never know when your time is up.
While I’ve come to terms with the fact I will not live forever, I’ll admit I’ve transferred some of that old fear to something else: not being able to fulfil all my dreams. I still have so much more to accomplish and experience on Mother Earth. Before I pass, I want to know I contributed as best and as much as I could. Hopefully in many ways. And I certainly want to leave behind a legacy. I guess that’s just human nature. Like wanting to live forever.